Following a wild — but unfulfilling (see how bored she looks?) — lifetime of food, sex, and murder, Helen Mirren settles down after being elected Queen of England.
More than 100 individuals nominated for the 2007 Oscars — including 16 of the 20 nominees in the acting categories — are expected to attend the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' annual nominees luncheon at noon on Monday, Feb. 5, at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills.
Among those who'll have to mind their table manners are Leonardo DiCaprio, Peter O'Toole, Will Smith, Penélope Cruz, Helen Mirren, Kate Winslet, Adriana Barraza, Abigail Breslin, Rinko Kikuchi, Alan Arkin, Mark Wahlberg, and Jackie Earle Haley. Plus directors Alejandro González Iñárritu, Martin Scorsese, and Clint Eastwood, who may or may not bring both of his best direction Oscar statuettes so as to place them right in front of Scorsese's lasagna.
I've heard rumors that Helen Mirren will show up at the luncheon wearing clothes that for once will hide her cleavage. Personally, I don't believe it.
Now, don't get me wrong. Mirren, who'll be turning 62 next July 26, has every right to show her cleavage whenever and wherever she chooses. In fact, she'd be doing the world a favor if she posed nude for some hip magazine. Most women half her age — and perhaps some guys, too — would kill to have her physique (and 1/100th of her talent).
In fact, each time I see a photo of Helen Mirren — when not dressed as Da Kween — the first thing I notice is the valley between her breasts. Again, absolutely nothing wrong there. So, great actresses can mature while remaining sensual. That's a positive — and quite wholesome — message for women and men of all ages. After all, without sex, there would be neither life nor apple pie.
What bothers me a bit, however, is that the Mirren cleavage feels like a p.r. stunt, a reminder that the actress is not the royal frump she plays on-screen. In other words, her Queen Elizabeth II (and her Queen Elizabeth I, too, for TV) were performances. Get it, members of the Academy? Get it, award-giving film critics? Get it, film producers looking for sexy, capable actresses over 25?
But do we really need that sort of constant reminder? Well, perhaps the actress and her publicists are right.
I, for one, remember Mirren all sexy and desperately horny as the adulterous (and gourmet) wife in Peter Greenaway's brilliant The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover. Most people, however, may have never seen or even heard of that 1989 bizarre comedy-drama about the labyrinthine dark side of human nature — one of the greatest and most stylish films of the 1980s, and one that makes the much-praised and self-consciously grand The Queen look like a second-rate TV movie.
In Greenaway's highly controversial film, Mirren's final, shall we say, goodbye to her ogre of a husband (Michael Gambon) is unforgettable. The farewell moment in question is set at a banquet table — and does the lady mind her manners.
In fact, having watched The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover, I'm sure that Dame Helen will know exactly where to place her fork and her knife at the Academy luncheon.
The Oscar ceremony will be held on Feb. 25.