I've definitely wacked it to this scene.

As for the ice cream/spoon symbolism (and I believe there's other such pieces of symbolism in the movie), I'll let you see for yourself and see what you think. But the fact that you don't remember makes me think it's much subtler than I gave it credit for. Maybe I shouldn't have, given the fact that I didn't catch it the first time I saw it.

SPOILERS AHEAD – BEWARE

I would argue that the extended sex scene is of the utmost importance. Let me explain. The two characters we have (Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton's) are on the surface diametrically opposed. This is true not simply because of their race, but it is true for other reasons as well (including but not limited to their perceived socio-economic status; Billy Bob lives in a house that he will inherit, has no trouble with money, has a steady job, lives in a sense above that of Berry; Berry, on the other hand, lives a life of struggling day by day to get by, getting evicted from her house, etc.).

The immediate trouble the viewer finds him or herself in, of course, is that both of these characters come to a place in their lives of a complete and utter groundlessness. Emotionally and psychologically we find them in a position of clear unity. Both of them have lost a child. Neither are directly responsible – yet the key is that they both feel responsible, and in a way, a very strong way, both are responsible, if indirectly, for the deaths of their children. Although neither consciously knows the extent to which they have come to this unity, they find themselves meeting at a crossroad from two different places.

The sex for them is not simply physical, but also emotional (this is clear regardless of what one thinks of the scene itself). Here we find two characters who are so guarded to the world, letting themselves go WITH EACH OTHER, the LAST thing one would expect given their prior circumstances. They put themselves in the most extreme position of vulnerability imaginable. A short scene may accomplish the most basic act of having them have sex, but I feel like it loses much of its emotional power, which is not simply to shock audiences (and that is of course part of it), but to force the audience to surrender to and consider what's happening on screen. It's not just sex; it's a connection that goes deeper than that. In the moment perhaps it may come off a little long, but in retrospect it works beautifully. It is not until the very final scene, the very last shot of them together, sitting and eating ice cream together, we realize the transformation they've been through. I believe the power of that scene is only THEN fully realized. And again, regard the ice cream/spoons…

I really hope you watch it again soon. I watched it a second time on a whim, and I couldn't be more grateful that I did. I was truly blown away by its power, honesty and heartbreakingly poetic narrative.

Since you've read my review, you're aware we see things differently when it comes to Halle Berry's performance in the sex scene. I do agree with you, however, about the dramatic importance of that long sequence even though I didn't find it in and of itself dramatic — and, as mentioned in the review, I wish it had been much shorter.

"Monster's Ball" clearly had a more mature approach to interethnic relations than most other movies, as it presents both white/(part-)black leads as complex characters while subtly weaving in socioeconomic issues as well. In other words, it's much more than a simplistic story about racist bigot/racism victim. My chief problems with the screenplay were the — in my view — plot contrivances; things I didn't find believable but that were in the screenplay so the story would go where the screenwriters wanted it to go even if you — or rather, I — needed to either suspend disbelief or refrain from asking uncomfortable questions, e.g., What did Leticia's husband do that the State decided to fry him on an electric chair? (I'm no death penalty advocate; but I believe that watching a person get electrocuted while knowing the crime s/he committed would, for better or for worse, have led to a radically different interpretation of that graphic execution scene.)

Now, I can't remember if I got the ice cream/spoon symbolism. And if I did, what I thought of it. One more reason for me to check out MB one more time.
As always, thanks for writing.

I think the movie is a very easy one to attack because of its openness with discussing race. The story and characters of the film could easily have been caricatures, but don't come across that way at all. They feel like real people who are not only products of their environments, but also trapped by the mindsets they've created for themselves.

I also find the contrasting black/white symbolism (the ice cream, the spoon) to be beautiful as it's portrayed. With a less skilled directorial hand it could easily have come off as contrived, but it works so well as a way of externalizing the internal struggles Billy Bob Thornton's character has around race.

Few films I've seen have looked at race with such a stark eye. I really commend Marc Forster for having done so here. And I praise the film's actors as well, for tackling material that is not only difficult, but almost impossible for some, to deal with.

My overall point is that the film walks a tightrope the entire time. Race relations in the U.S. are such a volatile issue. Many films are attacked for racism for simply portraying the issue. Monster's Ball is one of the few films that walks that tightrope and succeeds, partially because it doesn't simplify the issue as other movies have (the famous example of Crash comes to mind), and it accurately understands how layered and multi-faceted it really is.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20020201/REVIEWS/202010304/1023

You couldn't be further off the mark. Both actors have repeatedly said the sex wasn't real–to the point where they find the argument silly. The fact that your interpretation of this film–and Ms. Berry's award–hinges on a debunked rumor regarding the sexual activities of the leads is both ridiculous and comical.

And hesaid, you mentioned Kelli "isn't alone" in her thinking. I hope that conjecture is incorrect, because if it isn't, we'll soon be living in a world filled with spoon-fed, politically correct dreck and missing out on risk-taking cinema like Monster's Ball.

It's sad that people can't see past the surface story of an interracial affair, and see the subtext at play here: the bond these two lost souls feel and disharmony in their own wretched existences is what brings them together via a not-too-random moment of fate. By the end, Leticia realizes the truth, but perhaps feels it doesn't matter–perhaps this chance meeting was divined and meant to happen. Thornton obviously knows this truth would be revealed eventually–he makes the room and the drawing accessible and wants them to be found. One might even assume that he knows she's seen them when he returns with the ice cream.

This film is about so much more than race, and while it is flawed, it cannot be simply boiled down to an examination of interracial love: That's only one small part. In many ways, if both leads were of the same race, the story might have been just as impactful due to the "secret" bond these two share that isn't revealed until the end. To define this film by within the boundaries of *just* the racism angle is unfair to the filmmaker and the actors.

Dood, dood, call me old fashioned but if you wanna help tell that story Max Love thas on you pardner, but me eerr i'll pass on that. I is a free negro, but then you need more than an average education a teeny weeny bit of individuality and a passion for truth to see what others cant. That movie was more of a ritual to me. You feel that kelli? It was weird and out of sync, the point dominated the script. A dead black man, a dead black boy and a helpless black women leaning on a racist white man, oh and of course she fetches him a hat like a good obedient slave. That hat was probably the last thing my Lynched grandfather saw before he shut his eyes for the last time. How symbolic.
Anywayz Well said well spotted, your not alone kelli.