Alternative Film Guide

Numb (2008)

Direction and Screenplay: Harris Goldberg. Cast: Matthew Perry, Lynn Collins, Kevin Pollak, Bob Gunton, Helen Shaver, William B. Davis, Mary Steenburgen, Barry W. Levy, Ben Ayres

The first thing to mention is that I hardly ever walk out of movies. I hardly ever stop films, period. Even if I am not enjoying them, for some psychotic reason I still think that there must be a redeemable moment later on — though I must admit that I’m always wrong. (I should add that I’ve fallen asleep many times at moviehouses, to films that I will never try to see again, like Hidalgo, The Hulk, Star Wars III — but I did not walk out on them.)

In the past, I can only remember walking out on one film: the last Matrix flick — which I still haven’t seen and don’t care to. So why did my girlfriend and I walk out of Numb after only 20 minutes? Well, because Numb was shit. I feel bad for saying so because I like Matthew Perry, but even he looked like he was ready to leave.

Numb was produced by Perry, and written and directed by Harris Goldberg, a Toronto native who also wrote and directed Les Boys, which received some praise, and was the writer of such comedic triumphs as Deuce Bigalow (yes, the European gigolo), Without a Paddle, and the film that pretty much killed Dana Carvey’s career, The Master of Disguise.

So why did my girlfriend and I think that Numb would be any better? Well, it stars Perry, Lynn Collins, Kevin Pollak, and Mary Steenburgen — all actors we enjoy watching and would like to see more of. Also, the plot seemed interesting; depressing, but interesting: screenwriter Hudson (Perry) is a man who feels disconnected from the world: he’s depressed, unshaven, watches the golf channel and long movies 24/7, while never cleaning his apartment, changing out of his pjs, or doing any work. (Substitute golf for Columbo and it would be my own life during exam period.)

It turns out that Hudson is actually suffering from depersonalization disorder (or DPD), triggered after he took too many tokes off of a joint during his first pot-smoking experience. DPD makes the person feel as though nothing is real. (Or perhaps that everything is unreal?) As a result, DPD’ers feel more like outside observers of the world than functioning parts of it (which seems like a good disorder for a writer to have). Additionally, they are not in control of their bodies or emotions, and often feel anxious.

Hudson seeks help from his family, friends, and a psychiatrist who falls asleep during sessions. It’s all to no avail until he meets the cute and affable Sarah (Collins), an executive at a studio where Hudson and his writing partner, Tom (Pollack), are making a deal. Sarah recognizes Hudson from a party where a dog stole a chip from Hudson’s hand. On their first date, the two of them reminisce about that dog and they do what every couple does when falling in love: they speak the exact same words:

Hudson: When I fed that dog the —

Hudson & Sarah: Potato chip?

Aside from the corny dialogue, contrived situations, pathetic fallacy (it rains whenever Hudson feels depressed), terrible soundtrack, and Perry/Hudson’s useless narration — it provides the exact same information as the camera lens — Goldberg’s direction is abysmal.

Goldberg (and cinematographer Eric Steelberg) should have had someone on the set to help them use the focus function while keeping everyone in the frame. In fact, the filmmaker’s technique reminded me of a kid of who is given a camera to play with, finding uncontrollable joy with the zoom and focus features. In Numb, the camera is constantly going in and out, while a cheesy guitar tune plays over and over. (That may have been the director’s idea of numbness. It only helped me feel nauseated.)

Compounding matters, Goldberg resorts to the same tired screen portrayals of depression, e.g., shots of Hudson soaking in a tub looking morose, staring at nothing, or sitting alone for a long time. And how often do you think the film’s title could be said during the course of the whole picture? Of course, we didn’t stay long enough to find out, but I can tell you that in the first 20 minutes the word "numb" was uttered at least four or five times.

There were four people in the theater watching Numb. Just before we got up to leave, this eerie old woman, wearing what looked like a paisley mumu, left her seat, went to one of the balconies and started fidgeting with something. I’m not sure what it was, but it sounded like she was rifling through a box of bullets and then loading them into … something metallic. I figured she felt the same way we did about the film.

My girlfriend and I made our way toward the exit door, but the damn thing wouldn’t budge. That was it. The paisley-mumu woman had locked us all in. Five deaths were about to occur: mine, my girlfriend’s, the woman’s own, that of the man who found the movie funny, and that of Goldberg’s career.

However, much to my relief, we finally opened the door — I had been pushing on the wrong one — thus avoiding the saddest death I could imagine. We went home and talked about Perry’s bad choice. The poor guy. His series Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, though well received by critics, was cancelled; Numb is a sunken ship; and his next picture, Seventeen Again, is about a guy whose life isn’t going well — until he wakes up at the age of seventeen. Another picture he’s filmed is Birds of America, about a professor who struggles with life and is jealous of his free-spirited brother. It’s probably another unshaven role for Perry, but there is some promise.

Unfortunately, we didn’t even stay in Numb long enough to see Mary Steenburgen. Instead, we ended the night by watching an episode of Friends: "The One Where Matthew Perry Redeems Himself by Doing What He Does Best."

If anyone manages to watch all of Numb, do let me know how the rest of it went.

© Keith Waterfield

Technorati Tags: Numb, Harris Goldeberg, Matthew Perry, Lynn Collins, Kevin Pollak, Mary Steenburgen, Helen Shaver, William B. Davis

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