I'm a member of the "silent" generation, and that's what we rebelled against in the women's movement of the '60's and '70's. Rick Blaine's "You'll be grateful to me later when/if you can understand my decision for your future" is the kind of paternalism we expected when our men gave orders. But poor Ilsa: back in 1942 a "good" woman–even, in popular culture, a supposedly "normal" woman–was usually supposed to passively accept the destiny offered to her by the fathers, husbands, sons, or lovers in her life. Back then, most of us did, sometimes gratefully, sometimes not. Remember, we weren't supposed to be set up for decision-making. Again, there were exceptions: Bette Davis played some of them. But Ilsa's tears were her best resource when arguement failed.

Victor is portrayed as respecting Ilsa's freedom much more. He lets Ilsa say "no" when he tries to talk her into that single visa in the black market; later he doesn't press her about what went on in Paris (he knows perfectly well what happens with lonely people in war time.) In the 1940's, though, he could have been judged as "weak " for not insisting.

At the end, compassionate and sad, he simply asks, "Are you ready, Ilsa?" Hardly belittling or paternalistic to the wife he's just been observing, crying her eyes out. One wonders what they'll talk about on the plane.

Are you joking Dear Dan ?! Bergman's beauty in CASABLANCA is unique. I can't compare her to any other female characters in Rick's bar. She was really one of the most beautiful actresses ever. I'm sure that many people enjoy watching Casablanca because of Ingrid Bergman's natural beauty.