Erik Childress’ Top Ten Criticwatch Whores of 2007
January 9th, 2008 by Andre Soares
Highly recommended reading — Erik Childress‘ "Criticwatch 2007 - The Whores of the Year and the Axing of Pete Hammond" at EFilmCritic.com:
"You may remember from last year that we created a new award for the critic who displayed an incredible amount of supercilious douchebaggery. In 2006 the award went to Good Morning America’s Joel Siegel after storming out of a screening of Kevin Smith’s Clerks II due to an overextension of animal love conversation. We named the award after him to dishonor such critics for years to come. Alas, six months later, after trying to explain the entanglements of reviewing on live TV and subsequently threatening legal action against Criticwatch, Mr. Siegel passed away. To avoid the appearance of complete heartlessness, we immediately renamed the award after Michael Medved, an act we deemed more than appropriate since Medved is the epitome of an untrustworthy critic with an agenda larger than the aesthetics of critiquing film and the fact that he also boasts a big, bushy mustache.
"Many avid readers of Criticwatch may find our choice this year to be slightly controversial. Those with betting pools may be disappointed and maybe even shocked that this year’s winner is not going to repeat as the Peter Travers Whore of the Year. But his behavior in 2007 warrants something stronger than just an award he is going to be favored for year after year until he is fired or, at least, no longer paid attention to as a fluffy Q&A host or an Oscar prognosticator planting stories for films with little hope of receiving (or even worthy) of attention. You’ve seen it coming all year. He’s been impossible to avoid. The 2007 Michael Medved Bag of Douche Memorial Award goes to Maxim’s Pete Hammond [photo]."
***
Among the Top Ten Criticwatch Whores of the Year — those are critics who get their blurbs quoted time and again in studio ads — are Steve Oldfield of Fox-TV in Cincinnati, Janet Stokes and the Film Advisory Board, and the father-son team of Jeffrey and Ben Lyons.
Here’s a brief sample of Jeffrey Lyons’ inspiring critical work:
"Inspiring!" (Pride)
"An inspiring story of courage." (O Jerusalem)
"An inspiring, uplifting movie which pulls no punches." (Freedom Writers)
"The Final Season will inspire and entertain everyone." (The Final Season)
Some of the quotes unearthed by Childress may have been taken out of context and several look quite inoffensive, but the vast majority are undeniably damning.
INCREDIBLE!! Funny, thoughtful and the most heart-felt online article you’ll see this season! The pulse-pounding "The Whores of the Year and the Axing of Pete Hammond" is one of those rare gems you must not miss. It will inspire and entertain the whole family for generations to come.
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