“Go get him,” Kristen Stewart told fellow Best Kiss winner Robert Pattinson, who immediately left both her and presenter Ryan Reynolds kiss-less onstage (Reynolds looks a little dejected, see above) to go smooch it up with fellow The Twilight Saga: Eclipse player Taylor Lautner sitting in the audience at the MTV Movie Awards, held this evening at Universal City's Gibson Theater.
The crowd cheered. And why not? After all, we've had girl-on-girl liplocks (Madonna and Britney Spears, Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansson); some man-on-man action has been long overdue at those self-proclaimed hip awards shows. I mean, for Sappho's sake, even Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock have done it at the Critics' Choice Awards, hardly what you would call a “hip” telecast.
In fact, the Pattinson-Lautner kiss was an even more memorable moment than Pattinson's introduction of MTV Generation Award winner and his Water for Elephants co-star Reese Witherspoon, which raised some eyebrows after he said the word “fuck.”
Pattinson, who merited the Best Comedy Performance of Any Award Show this Year, took home a bag of popcorn for his performance as the much-too-serious and much-too-powdered Edward Cullen in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, which also won MTV Movie Awards for Best Movie, Best Actress (Kristen Stewart), Best Fight (a deadly free-for-all involving Pattinson, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Xavier Samuel), and the aforementioned Best Kiss.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1's Tom Felton was the Best Villain, while Justin Bieber won for Best Jaw-Dropping Moment for his musical tour de force in Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, whose most jaw-dropping elements were actually its many good reviews.
Also: Emma Stone's modern-day Hester Prynne in Easy A was voted Best Comedic Performance; Ellen Page delivered the Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance as a dream traveler in Christopher Nolan's Inception; and Chloë Grace Moretz was both the year's Breakout Star and Biggest Badass for her fighting skills in Kick-Ass, in which she also gets to say stuff that would have made even Robert Pattinson blush.
And finally, Alexys Nycole Sanchez's “I want to get chocolate wasted” from Grown Ups was chosen as the Best Line.
But shouldn't that award have gone to the screenwriter? Never mind. Just a rhetorical question.
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson / Ryan Reynolds photo: Reuters
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart at past MTV Movie Awards ceremony
First we get this report claiming that by 2,100 the world will have to produce more food than in the last 300 billion years put together. Then Robert Pattinson says the word “fuck” on live television. I'm not sure which one is more frightening.
In fact, Pattinson's was a calculated “fuck,” not something spur-of-the-moment-like like Melissa Leo's utterance at the Oscars earlier this year. Pattinson, who was – shockingly – voted Best Actor of the year for his performance as Edward Cullen in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, (out of revenge, perhaps?) shocked people as far away as Yemen and Lesotho by saying the Forbidden Word while paying homage to MTV Generation Award winner Reese Witherspoon.
While accompanied onstage by Patrick Dempsey and Chelsea Handler, Pattinson joked that Witherspoon was responsible for his role getting cut in the final edit of his first movie ever, Vanity Fair (2004). He added that – compassionately, I assume – in Water for Elephants “I didn't cut you, but I did fuck you.”
Good thing Rosie wasn't around.
That The Twilight Saga: Eclipse's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart would win the MTV Movie Award for Best Kiss – announced by Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively – was no surprise. The surprise had to do with who go to kiss whom at the awards ceremony held at the Gibson Theater in Universal City.
“I feel bad because I don't feel like kissing you,” Pattinson told Stewart onstage. “You don't want to kiss me, do you?"
“Well, it's been a long time,” Stewart replied, referring to the fact that this is their third consecutive Best Kiss award – and to date, no real onstage kissing. She then added: “And I think maybe we should finally go for it.” The crowd roared.
But it wasn't meant to be.
“I just think there's someone else in the audience who I think will appreciate it a little more,” Pattinson retorted. More loud cheering.
“Go get him,” Stewart encouraged.
As everyone knows by now, Taylor Lautner was the evening's lucky kissee.
Jackson Rathbone sings the nominated lines for the 2011 MTV Movie Awards. Rathbone, of course, plays Jasper Hale, one of the vampire “brothers” of Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) in Best Movie nominee The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.
Among the MTV Movie Awards nominated lines are: Alexys Nycole Sanchez's “I want to get chocolate wasted,” from Grown Ups; Amanda Bynes and Emma Stone's “There is a higher power that will judge you for your indecency” “Tom Cruise?", from Easy A; and Justin Timberlake and Andrew Garfield's, “… A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool?” “A billion dollars. And that shut everybody up,” from The Social Network.
Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Female Performance
Emma Stone, Easy A
Emma Watson, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Jennifer Aniston, Just Go with It
Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Best Male Performance
Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
* Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Zac Efron, Charlie St. Cloud
Best Breakout Star
Andrew Garfield , The Social Network
Chloë Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
Jay Chou, The Green Hornet
Olivia Wilde, TRON: Legacy
Xavier Samuel, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Best Comedic Performance
Adam Sandler, Just Go with It
Ashton Kutcher, No Strings Attached
Emma Stone, Easy A
Russell Brand, Get Him to the Greek
Zach Galifianakis, Due Date
Best Line from a Movie
Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups: “I want to get chocolate wasted.”
Amanda Bynes and Emma Stone, Easy A: Amanda Bynes: “There is a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.” Emma Stone: “Tom Cruise?"
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network: “If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook.”
Justin Timberlake and Andrew Garfield, The Social Network: Justin Timberlake: “… A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool?” Andrew Garfield: “A billion dollars. And that shut everybody up.”
Tom Hardy, Inception: “You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling.”
Christoph Waltz, The Green Hornet
Leighton Meester, The Roommate
Mickey Rourke, Iron Man 2
Ned Beatty, Toy Story 3
* Tom Felton, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Amy Adams vs. The Sisters, The Fighter
Chloë Grace Moretz vs. Mark Strong, Kick-Ass
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint vs. Death Eaters, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Joseph Gordon-Levitt vs. Hallway Attacker, Inception
Robert Pattinson vs. Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samuel, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Inception
Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Best Jaw-Dropping Moment
James Franco, 127 Hours, Cuts Off His Arm
Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, Performance Spectacular
Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page, Inception, Paris Café Scene
Natalie Portman, Black Swan, Mutilation: Pulls the Skin off Her Finger
Steve-O, Jackass 3D, Port-A-Potty Bungee Stunt
Best Scared-As-Sh*t Performance
Ashley Bell, The Last Exorcism
Ellen Page, Inception
Jessica Szohr, Piranha 3D
Minka Kelly, The Roommate
Ryan Reynolds, Buried
Photo: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (Kimberley French / Summit Entertainment)